New Fall Lineup!

As of the beginning of last week I had (sort of) cut all ties with the summer men.

I was sitting on the beach wearing a sweater and a scarf because it was effing cold, basking in the sun, and trying to ignore the lustful glances the Filipino fishermen were giving me every time a breeze threatened to blow up my dress. It was the perfect day to reflect on my summer of glory and plan for the upcoming months. I made goal, I considered my fall wardrobe, and I contemplated what I wanted in terms of men.

I decided I am going to *try* to focus on male companionship and that I am going to try not to put out on the first date. I am going to try taking a more mature approach to dating. I realized that this might be challenging at first, but that once I am able to make good behavior a habit, it will eventually come naturally to me.

So, while still on the beach, I pulled out my iPhone and logged onto my dating websites. I browsed many profiles in search of my first fall date in my quest to be a mature dater.

I found the perfect one!

A guy who just moved to town and seemed interested in making the world a better place and he was a landscaper so I figured he would probably be fit and tanned! YUM!

We emailed, and then texted, and eventually agreed to meet on that Thursday for drinks.

The date was horrible. On of the worst I have been on. He was boring as all fuck. After 40 minutes I ran to the bathroom to check the time and then text all my gals to find out how long I had to stay in order to be polite. An hour apparently.

He seriously had nothing to say. I am pretty awesome at keeping up conversation, I've had enough damn practice at first dates. It got to the point where I was scrambling and asking shit like "Sooooo....what kind of music do you listen to?" He would then answer my questions but not really give me anything to work with and he wouldn't return the question.

He also said stupid shit about how when he left his old town he left behind a lot of bad karma, and it sounded like he got angry with everyone and just ditched. He also said he went on dates with a few women there but that they were all "trash" because they were single moms. Upon reflection I realize I really should have walked out at that point...

So after an hour he asks if I want another drink or if I want to get a bite to eat or whatever. I feign a headache because I really felt bad for this guy. He had nothing going for him and will probably be single for forever. We part ways politely, there was even a hug.

Later that evening I was online on one of the dating websites and he obviously noticed. I got this email from him:

"Something isn't right when a date gets called early and both people immediately log in to check their profile. Are people so dependent on social networks that they would rather chat online then be in person? I can't make sense of that at all."

I replied with:

"You have a point. I don't think we have much in common or much to talk about to be honest."

The next morning he sends:

"Good no need to fool ourselves. Nice meeting you and good luck."

At this point I feel relieved that I won't have to deal with any texts or phone calls from him telling him that I am not interested. I figure he handled it alright and figured it out and that it's all great.

I WAS WRONG.

A couple of hours after his last email I get this:

"Actually no I am going to flame. I talked for an entire hour. You said almost nothing except grill me the entire time. We are both boring people that mostly just work. We both spend a lot of time on the internet. We are both second picks. I don't know what you think you want but I categorize you in wanting impossible with the majority of women. 90% of women all want the same 10% of alpha men. Your not getting one. Date in your own league. Your incredibly boring. But I'm fine with boring because I know I'm regular Joe too. If we had more in common honestly the date would of lasted 5 minutes. I told a ton of stories you said jack shit."

I read this and laughed for probably an hour. Then I went to work and told everyone and laughed even harder!

There are so many stupid things going on there. But my favorite part is the "Date in your own league. You are incredibly boring." I want to get a t-shirt made.

I responded with Zaza's suggestion of:

"You're = you are
Your = possessive"

And then I blocked him because I am not interested in anything that dude has to say. Not worth my time.

I have two other dates this week!

One is with a super eager 38 year old. He is really self conscious about his age, even though I assured him I consider it a positive. I am curious to see how that goes.

The second date is with a man who flies hot air balloons for a living. I hope to one day fly in his balloon. I have also added "Have sex in a hot air balloon" to my Cum Bucket List.