Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Well, Don't Quote Me On This...

Hello Blogosphere!

It's been a while. I've been around, but my sex life has not. For those of you (presumably anyone but the coauthors of this blog) who don't know, my relationship is current long distance because the other half of it is in another city finishing school. I don't know how I got into this situation either, but I guess we really like each other, (I'm just kidding, we love each other madly, etc, etc). Anyway, he's back in town as of earlier today but because of my work schedule (retail Christmas = late nights, BUZZ. YOUR LIFE. WOOF!) and his holiday family obligations we weren't sure if we'd see each other until later in the week. Today I managed to switch tomorrow's shift into ending a little earlier, and so I strongly suggested that we see each other tomorrow night in a way that I feel the internets should read,

Boy: Okay, I'm exhausted so I think I'm gonna crash right away... I'll see you soon :)
Me: alright, sleep well
Me: OH, so, p.s. if you don't find anything better (: P) to do tomorrow night, i am now off work at 10 because I am awesome. Soooo... you know
Me: goodnight!
Me: (and if you do to manage to have something better to do, I'm just warning you that Wednesday I will be a poor conversationalist because I won't be able to hear anything over the sound of my vagina screaming that we've been in the same city for 48 hours and I haven't seen you yet)
Boy: hahahaha ewwww
Boy: ewwwwwwwww jesus
Boy: screaming vagina
Me: Yeah whatever, don't even try to pretend that's not the greatest thing a girl has ever said to you.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Asking a boy out IN REAL LIFE

As someone who has no problem asking someone out via text or email, I have a super hard time asking someone out in person. IN REAL LIFE.

After a sex free period of 2.5 months, due to seeing a man with morals and also being in a general funk, I have found myself getting back to my slutty ways.

This Saturday I have a date with a latin man I am hoping to ravish, on Monday I have plans for beer and fooseball with some other dude, and then on Tuesday I am going for coffee with a highschool teacher.

I am excited for these outings and am glad to be getting out there again and meeting new people but these guys are not the ones I am REALLY excited for....

I work in a store that sells cool gift stuff and although most of the customers are women, we do have a few men come in from time to time. Lately there has been one male customer who has really stood out to me.

I don't know his name, but everytime he comes in I make sure to help him and we spend a lot of time chatting and there is some flirting. The last time he was in I was really awkward and flustered because I realized I had a crush on him and I really wanted to do something about it. I resolved that the next time he was in I would ask him out.

Cut to yesterday.

He walked in the store and we locked eyes right away and I couldn;t help myself from grinning really happily at him and I got a really big smile in return! We chatted a bit and he showed me pictures from a recent trip to Asia. We flirted and I tried to be cool and not get flustered like last time.

I knew I had to be proactive. I was going to do it. I was going to ask him out. Fuck, I was nervous.

I was alone behind the counter for a minute, getting his items ready to bag. He was walking towards the counter. I realized other people were walking towards the counter too! If I asked him out there would be an audience!


I quickly grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down a note with my name and number and taped it to the largest item in his bag.

It felt like chickening out and I regretted it as soon as he walked out. I considered following him outside but I had already felt kind of resigned.

Because it's Christmas and the things he bought were gifts he probably won't look in the bag until December 24th and I am worried that he might feel like it's too late or something....


Now I play the waiting game. Maybe I will get laid by the latin man in the meantime.