Well...I did it.

As if there was any doubt that I would. I just cannot resist taking my clothes off for a man who is willing to fondle my vagina.

Today I had Hot Air Balloon Guy over for a movie and some wine.

Originally my plan for the evening was to wash my cum-stained bedding and while that was happening I was going to sit on my naked mattress, while probably naked myself, eating cheesecake and reading blogs. I lead an especially glamourous life.

But no. Some dude (Hot Air Balloon Guy, stay with me!) wanted to see me because he just found out that he is moving out of town to fly balloons elsewhere and he thinks I am super awesome.

Fine.

So I come home from work. I toss my tight black jeans, my musty pillow cases, and a cute top in the wash. I hop in the shower to wash the negligence out of my hair make sure my bits were in order. I swept and mopped the damn apartment. And then I pulled myself together and let him know he could come over.

We watched Whatever Works, which was fine, and cracked open my free bottle of wine (which I am kind of wishing I had saved for a night by myself). After the movie we made a little small talk until someone (can't remember who) grabbed the other and went in for a smooch.

Smooching turned to groping, turned to dry humping, turned to us retreating to my bedroom to get the pesky clothes out of the way.

Now. This is funny because I was talking to the gals before he came over and I told them I would probs not fuck this dude. But the THING is. When I am presented with a penis, I just get far too excited about seeing what it can do that I totally forget that I didn't want to go there.

I GO COCK CRAZY!

And my mind gets all jumbled and buggered up.

This guy was nervous. And as much as I love being dominated, I am also learning that I kind of love making guys nervous. It brings out this beast in me. I am practicing becoming more dominant myself so that I can expand my sexual horizions.

Today I was a little drowsy from the wine, so beyond gently telling him what I wanted ("bite there...harder") I remained calm and didn't get too excited.

One of my fears was that his dick would be too small. And it seemed small, but I am pretty sure that it was just because there was so much flesh. He is certaintly the biggest man I have ever fucked, and it was a hinderance, to be quite frank.

But he was a quick learner, and he developed a basic understanding of what I wanted.

I actually got the feeling that he may have never had sex before...but how can you ask someone that question?!

As sweet as the whole thing was, towards the end of it I had already resolved that I had no romantic feelings towards this man. I was getting less interested and he was quickly becoming more interested. This has happened to me before. It is so awkward because I am the type who will apparently take advantage of these men for sex and completely disregard their feelings. Take Guy #2 for example.

I will probably see Hot Air Balloon Guy one more time before he moves away. I am going to use the move as my out.

Old Fogey!

In my last post I mentioned I was going on a date with a man 20 years my senior.

It happened last week and I was nervous as fuck because we had been texting loads. And sexting even more. He seemed really cool and I had already told him I had gotten myself off to the idea of him, which was true. So going into this we already knew a bit more about each other sexually.

The meeting went well. It was awkward at times, but not unbearable.

At the end he walked me home and outside of my gate it seemes like he was a little nervous trying to figure out how to say goodbye, which seemed funny because he came across a pretty cocky. He rambled on about scooters for a while until he ran out of things to say. Then he reached out and I thought he was going to shake my hand goodnight! Then he pulled me in for an awesome kiss, neck biting included.

I went to bed that night all flushed and lusting after this 43 year old man with slicked back grey and black rockabilly hair, cuffed jeans, and tattoos.

Then we texted constantly for the next week. Primarily sex themed conversations.

It was decided that last night was a good night to get together again. We had pretty much decided that sex was going to happen, and I was all for it because Graveyard Guy was such a loser in the sack and I was in need of a good lay.

Yesterday morning as I am getting ready for work at 8something am Old Guy texts me something that made me throw my hairbrush at the floor and curse him. This is out text conversation:

Old Guy: "Hey...I was going to have this conversation with you when I saw you tonight but maybe I should have it now... I just wanted to tell you a bit about my situation and my emotional availabitlity."

Me: (Thinking: "Ok. He is recently divorced and not ready for a relationship. This is fine. Sex if fine. Do I want a 40 something boyfriend? That would probably never have worked. Fuck, he is so hot.")

OG: "I am maintaining a polyamorous status. I am involved with someone but free to persue outside attraction but everyone needs to know what's going one. I though we should get it out in the open before I met you a second time. I think you're pretty and I would like to see you again but if you think this is too much for you I understand."

Me: This is the point where I kind of lose my shit. Looking back it was an overreaction (Thinking: "What the fuck....!!!!") I still don't say anything to him.

Then we go on and I am apprehensive because the definition of polyamorous is basically that you have two different relationships, and although there may be a primary person and a secondary person, they are generally pretty serious. Or that's what the internet told me.

So I am at work, freaking out. I didn't give him an answer as to whether or not I was going to meet him for coffee anymore because I didn't know if I wanted something this complex in my life. He made it sound intimidating.

It made me question myself: Who am I that last week I was getting strangled and this week I am considering entering a polyamorous relationship?!

I am vanilla!!! I barely even have sprinkles! When did I start taking an intrest in this stuff?!

Ok. So I decide to meet him for coffee and let him know that I probably won't be comfortable having sex with him at this point. I wanted to figure out what this poly stuff meant for me.

We met at a little cafe close-ish to his place and at first the conversation is kind of awkward. We talked about very un-sex related things. Then at an awkward pause I asked him what he expected from me. He didn't really expect anything, just whatever I was willing to offer.

He went on to explain why he was not in a monogamous relationship and it basically was him going on to tell me that he has slept with a lot of women and hopes to continue doing so. That his marriage fell apart because he drank too much and cheated. That the oldest woman he has been with was 32.

I also find out that in the 80s he dated my former co-worker who is now a 40-something spinster who lives with her sister and her cats. I realize I had heard about him many times because she was still hung up on him but hated his guts for being a womanizer. This is hilarious to me, but also kind of creepy. And maybe a little gross?

I quickly realize that this guy is an asshole. Big time. And anyone like this is not someone that I am interested in getting close too. I was so worried I was going to get attached but I see that it really won't be a problem.

I tell him about Graveyard Guy and how I could use a good roll in the hay.

When we get to his place he realizes there is no where safe to lock up my giant, super heavy, retro-style bike. He decides to carry it up six flights of stairs. I am impressed because the bike is super fucking heavy. I am even more impressed when he shows he can pinch my ass while carrying the bike.

We start making out. He is an awesome kisser and I appreciate the laying in bed and making out thing. Old Guy took things slow. Hand in underwear, not too invasive or urgent. Gentle.

Usually while making out and other things, I find my mind wanders to stupid things. That didn't happen with him. Everything was so good that I was into it the entire time!

Then we had sex three times. It was scream-loudly-so-the-neighbors-can-hear sex. Him on top, working magic and me practically tearing his sheets to shreds.

During the whole thing he had the nostalgia radio station playing and he even had Buddy Holly a sing-along. It was hilarious and terrible.

Also during each rest he was constantly admiring me and caressing me all over and telling me how awesome I look. It was really nice and a super great ego boost. Who doesn't want to hear that shit?!

Afterwards he of course had to carry my bike back down the six flights of stairs. I was looking forward to the bike ride home, but he was heading to the pub in my area and wanted me to walk with him. The conversation on the way home was meh. Since having realized I didn't like him much as a person, I wasn't interested in listening to him talk. Plus he was telling me ridiculous stories about the drugs he used to do and about how he smoked crack with a prostitue once. Why would I want to hear this?

All in all I feel like this is an awesome arrangement. I get amazing sex on the somewhat regular and I still get to date other guys. In fact, I am working on setting up two dates as I am typing this.

Wanna get naked?

I often listen to this song and sing along loudly in the morning when the roommates aren't around.