Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mr. A


Back when I was thinking about making a profile, a friend told me that the best method for online dating was to ignore all of the messages from dudes that initiate conversations. I was told that I should focus in on the profiles I found most interesting, and then send an email to those boys, and those boys only.

I obviously did not heed this advice at all.

Now, a few months in, a few dates in, but ultimately still nowhere in terms of finding anyone that I have any real connection with – I decided that it was mafukkin time to put my big girl pants on. It was time to BE THE INITIATOR!

I knew exactly which boy I wanted to email, but I was nervous. I practiced on some other profiles that were sort of interesting first, building up my nerve.

For lack of a better term, I’ve been profile stalking Mr. Adventures for several months. Before I uploaded pictures and made a real profile, I noticed his. He seemed perfect: a mix of tall, dark, and sexy-ugly. There was even a picture with a beautiful and rugged beard. I instantly had a boner for him.

Then, just before I put up pictures, he took down all of his photos. His profile was still there, but I figured that zero pictures = not currently looking.

I waited…

I didn’t really mind, to be honest. I hoped that his majestic bearded mug would return eventually, but I in the meantime I had no shortage of potential suitors to comb through.

Recently he uploaded photos again (not the bearded one! Womp Womp), and I resumed admiring his profile regularly.

One day, after reading a blog about being PIMPIN’ and taking charge of your life, I experienced a surge of confidence and fearlessness that provoked me to send Mr. Adventures an email.

Muffy once described his profile as: POW POW POW EVERTHING ANYTHING POW!!! I wasn’t sure what the hell to write in the email. He mentioned his love of adventures several times in his profile, so I asked him to regale me with his favorite Winnipeg adventure story. I figured that we could exchange stories and then I could suggest exchanging more stories over coffee.

Much to my delight, that is exactly what happened! Here is harshly summarized synopsis:

Coco: Tell me an adventure story!
Mr. A: AN ADVENTURE STORY! Imma hint at another story too. Your turn!
Coco:  AN ADVENTURE STORY! TELL ME THE OTHER STORY!
Mr. A: THE OTHER STORY! (it was super long and hilarious)
Coco: OMG THAT WAS AMAZING. Imma tell you more stories over coffee?
Mr. A: okay!
Coco: HERE IS MY PHONE NUMBER
Mr. A: HERE IS MINE

We planned to meet on Thursday after Folk Festival.

I was really nervous. Like, super fucking nervous. I had somehow gotten this man, who I had lusted over for months, to go on a date with me. AND SO QUICKLY! I avoided my previous method of having a phone conversation pre-date.

On Thursday we met at a coffee place. He texted me about an hour before to make sure we were still on. I appreciated that since I had been the INTIATOR the whole time. It was nice to know he might be even a tinge worried I’d bail. I told him to get his drink to go b/c we were going to go for a walk. He was early and sitting outside when I arrived.

He was wearing sunglasses and a straw fedora hat. I couldn’t really see his face for the first half of the date, and I worried that he was an ugly-ugly. We walked to a water fountain on Corydon and chatted. The conversation flowed pretty smoothly, although he went on mega tangents that were sometimes hard to follow.

Through a combination of a poor choice of hairstyle (bangs fully down), nervousness, and the heat wave, I soon became a disgusting sweaty mess. I was sure that I was bombing the date and that he was super grossed out by me. I was wearing a low cut top and I hoped that maybe my boobs were distracting him. I still wasn’t sure if I should care or not, since I was on the fence regarding whether or not he was an ugly-ugly or not.

We made it back to where we started and I freshened up in the restroom of a café. Then I suggested that we go to the park to check out the spinny chairs. He was game.

In the park, he twirled on the chairs for an amount of time that would have made me throw up. He loved it! When he calmed down, he asked me if I had plans for the rest of the night. I said I didn’t. Then he asked me if I had eaten dinner. I said that I hadn’t (I had been too nervous!!!). Then, much to my surprise, he asked me if I wanted to grab a bite.

I was delighted, but still unsure what he really looked like.

We headed to a local pub. We sat down and he went to the restroom. On his way back he sneakily bought me a beer that he had mentioned he thought I’d like on the walk. When he got to the table I suggested we move so that he could watch the game. We were both wracking up mega brownie points.

At last he removed his shades and hat. SEXY-UGLY FO-SHO! We shared nachos (he ate all the cheese!), told each other stories, and laughed and smiled a whole bunch. It felt easy and simple. It felt like one of those first dates that happens to girls you know, but never to you. It was textbook. And when the noisy nature of the bar forced me to lean in closer, I was pleased when I caught him occasionally and sneakily looking down my shirt.

I offered to go Dutch for the nachos, which I’ve since been told was very cool of me. We paid and left the pub and I veered us towards my apartment. Near my place he asked, “Am I walking you home?” and I said, “Yes, I tricked you into it.”

In front of my building I told him I had a fun night and that I’d like to see him again. He said that he’d like to see me again too, and then asked how long I’d be away for. He mentioned that he didn’t have his schedule for the next month and didn’t know when he’d be free, but then I think he realized it might have sounded like a brush off and told me that I should text him.

I was going to go in for the handshake, but before I could, he stepped towards me, said “oh, you’re going in for the hug!”, and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his chest. Wonderful. And then we said goodnight.

Although it was a very nice date, I am not exactly all-a-flutter about it. Was the conversation really fun and easy? Yes. Was there chemistry? I’m not sure. At the end, I didn’t want him to kiss me, but I did like the hug.

I worry that he's secretly a big loser. 

A week later, while I was out of town, I texted him about something boring just to stay in touch, and because he had been all “text me!”. His responses weren’t revolutionary by any means, but he responded – so that’s something.

We are going out again on Monday to Folklorama. I hope he has grown a luscious beard in my absence. 

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