Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Missing Mojo

Have you seen my mojo? I certainly haven’t lately.

There are several unmistakable “it’s time to get back on the horse” signs that I have encountered within the last few months:


  1.       . Lets just say it's been a while and leave it at that. A very easy date to remember considering it falls on a friend’s birthday and facebook never fails to remind me.
  2.       My condoms are starting to expire!
  3.       I told my married religious friend about point 1, expecting her to be the ONE person who would maybe support my accidental celibate lifestyle, and instead of telling me that I should feel good and proud about it, she said something like, “Oh…. Considering that you’ve had sex before and know how good it is… that must be rough.” Thanks a lot!

Was I always this way? No! Fuck no! How did I get here?

Undergrad was a veritable smorgasbord of cute boys and firsts. First dates, first for-real make-out sessions, first boyfriend, first time a boy made me cum, first serious boyfriend, first bj, first love, first TIME, first heartbreak, etc!  My journal from the first three years of school reads like a racy rom-com about someone else’s life.

My journal from the last three years reads like a sad book you might find with the cover ripped off at a dr.s’ office. WHY GOD WHY!

What the hell happened?  Do I just not know where the boys are at? It might have been that I was stuck on someone, but recently I feel very unstuck (thank you baby J for that small miracle). It may have been that I was in a “focus on my future/career” state, but that’s going well and now its time to have some fun, I think! Time to go on dates and kiss boys that I shouldn’t and probably reconsider my aversion to casual sex.
           
Truthfully, I have an idea of where the boys are at. I see them sometimes, being all sexy, bearded, broad shouldered, smart, and funny around town. However, I’ve totally lost my mojo. I’m in some kind of shitty ‘afraid of men’ nightmare comedy starring my second virginity and some nearly expired condoms.

What is a lady to do in this situation? Meet men on the internet, of course! Stay tuned. 

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