So I've suddenly found myself in the midst of a long distance relationship.
How it happened, I have no idea. I guess I just kind of fell into it.
Y'all may remember Hot Air Balloon guy from last year... well that's who.
I have to say, it's been very trying as I am a massively physical person.
We have visited each other and as hard as it is to be apart, the sex when we finally see each other is AMAZING.
Now that we are growing more and more comfortable around each other he is happy to fart in front of me. This is great, whatever. I'm glad he feels comfortable and the farting doesn't bother me really.
What DOES bother me is that as chill as I am about his farting and as chill as I'm sure he would be I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO FART IN FRONT OF HIM. This drives me CRAZY.
I'll think I'm fine and that all is great and that there is no reason for me to be weird about it but when it comes down to doing it I panic and try to surpress it or I hide the sound of it and pretend it's not happening.
I just know that one day when I am surpressing it, it's going to be too loud and my pinched butt cheeks are going to turn it into some weird trumpet noise.
Whatever you do, don't Carrie Bradshaw it.
ReplyDeleteWait until they are in the shower. Ya'll always shower together? Create a diversion. Be like "Hmm, you're a bit stinky, maybe you should take a shower?" and when they're like "come with me?" be like "man, but then I'd have to dry my hair, etc". When they're in the shower, go to the room furthest away from them, and fart away. Happy trails.
ReplyDeleteHahah this is great, and I wish I could give you some advice but I'm totally traditonal on holding on to them babies until no one is in my presence. In fact, talking about it makes me uncomforatable. FEMINIST 2012!
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