Question:

When you run into a one night stand that you met at the bar while drunk and then proceeded to spend the majority of the next day with, is it okay to pretend you don't know them when you run into them months later?

Or am I just really weird and awkward?

But I guess he is awkward too.

Male Friend's POV on Dumping a Terrible Girl

"Breakups feel bad. It's like... having your asshole pit bull put down. I mean, sure, it bit your kid but you still feel kind of shitty after. And the sex. I'll miss the sex."

What Separates Men From Boys

The following is an excerpt from a text conversation I had earlier with a guy I was seeing for a few weeks. The back story: he's great on paper -- smart, funny, has a great job, owns a car. In practice however, he's rather timid, somewhat shy, and incredibly awkward, which I found endearing... until I didn't. He has a big dick, he lasts a long time, and he knows how to use it and his fingers, but not once in the handful of times we had sex did he so much as attempt to take his mouth anywhere below my chest. He also nearly cried when there was a little blood on the condom once. Definitely wasn't going to work.

Last night he started asking me for dating/girl advice, as when I broke it off with him I told him "I think that you're perfect for someone, it's just not me," and as all nice guys do, he wanted to stay friends. He's tried a bit of online dating that's led to nothing, and he doesn't really know how to approach women IRL, but he says that with his new great job, he's finding himself wanting to settle down more and more, (keep in mind, still lives with his parents. Settle in the basement? I don't know.) He's also decided that he wants to date older women. Right.

I gave him some tips, and then went to meet my friend for a few drinks. He texted me more while out, and eventually I felt that this was the appropriate response:

Me: Alright, I'm going to give you the best advice you'll ever get: IF you are going to try dating older women you're going to need to get over your fear of blood, and you're going to need to start going down on them - and I mean that honestly for your own advancement, and in no way as an insult.
Me: Not necessarily at the same time.
Him: I had 2 gut-wrenching experiences in that department, so I'm not sure
Me: In which department?
Him: Going down...
Me: So? You think your spunk tastes like jolly ranchers or something?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Well, it doesn't.
Him: Okay
Me: It separates the men from the boys. And women want men. Otherwise you may as well stick to dating teenagers.

You know that thing...

...where you finally getting around to sleeping with that guy from last summer and then he's like, "Btw, I know a bunch of your close friends."

and by "know a bunch of your close friends" he means he once slow danced with your (soon to be!!!!!) roommate at a junior high dance and got a boner.

I've realized...

I realized this weekend that I was not very honest with myself and it took a little reflection to catch on.

I spent the entire weekend hanging out with awesome people but I kept finding myself distracted but my lack of contact with D&D and I now understand that this casual arrangement is really not working for me.

I went from a relationship that smothered me to the total opposite where I felt kind of lonely most of the time. D&D is so hot and cold. Awesome when we were alone together but not so great otherwise.

And why should I settle?!

So Sunday, after I got home from a night of partying with new friends, I sat down at my computer and with determination I emailed 30+ men.

I emailed men that i thought were meh and I emailed men that I may have once considered out of my league.

I sent them all the message "Hey, would you like to grab a drink sometime?"

Within a few minutes i got a response from a guy who I wasn't super excited about but he seemed friendly and upbeat. He asked if I had any plans that night and we agreed to meet for tea in half an hour.

I had to hustle to get my cute on as I was in sweats with no makeup on...

When I showed up at the cafe he was way cuter than his pictures! He was dressed well and was really friendly and chatty right away.

We had no problem talking for over an hour and then agreed to go for a walk. Since we were in my area he let me talk the lead on our route and I directed him to a park because I have a thing for swings.

We hung out on the playground for a bit until it started to rain really hard. By the time we got close to my place/his car we were both SOAKED. Since I was damp and it was late-ish on a Sunday night I decided it was an okay time to call it a night.

I hugged him goodbye and we made vague plans to meet later in the week. As I was walking up to my house he shouts "WAIT! I have a song I recorded that I want you to hear!" Of course I agreed to listen to it and it was super cute. He also played me some other songs that one of his bands recorded and we continued talking for a bit.

Eventually we had to relocate to sitting on my stoop because the rain was coming down so hard and we ended up chatting for another hour.

In the end we agreed that he will take me out for dinner on Friday night.

I'm super pleased by this random turn of events and I'm really interested to see how things go with this guy.

FINGER CROSSED!

by my favourite Thought Catalog blogger....

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO HAVING SEX IN YOUR 20s!!!

also: more coco stories soon? yeah! maybe! probably!

It's Friday the 13th and I've already spotted two men who have seen me at least partially nude. THE DAY IS YOUNG.

In the Heat of the Night

In my previous post I had mentioned that I had some summer stories. I know that so far my summer is quite tame compared to last summer (a small example), but the last two weeks have been somewhat eventful in terms of sex.

July 1st was Canada Day and so a street in my area of town was shut down for two days of festivities (ie. people get shit drunk). On the Sunday night I made sure to get proper drunk as I had the next day off work and once I started drinking I really wanted to go dancing.

I went to see some friend's bands at a local dive and I danced my face off. D&D was there and we chatted and danced together a bit and after the bar I went home to his place.

On our walk home he brought up US. I got super awkward and played coy, which was a bitchy move. ANYWAY, we kind of decided that neither of us want anything serious but that we both like each other lots and the sexual chemisty is undeniable and so we would continue this in a casual manner until it doesn't work anymore.

I am pleased with this.

He also raved about how awesome he thinks I am. (So awesome. Duh.)

The next morning he and I drive together to meet some friends at the beach. I kind of realized in the two hour car ride that he and I had never really spent a lengthy amount of time alone together with nothing to distract us and it was really nice.

A couple of days later I left for a music festival where I camped in the middle of a 24 hour party for 4 nights. It was a stupidly good time. I was D-RUNK every single night.

The second night D&D gave me some mushrooms and they made me RIDICULOUSLY horny. All that was on my mind was fucking.

I grabbed D&D's hand and we stumbled around the festival grounds trying to find a place to fuck but security people kept popping up. Eventually we found a supply tent by one of the stages that wasn't being used. We broke in and went at it amongst a bunch of children's craft supplies.

As we were leaving the tent a security person pointed their flashlight at us and we had to run away.

It was awesome.

The next night I was drunk with some friends and we danced and danced while wearing glowsticks at this giant drum circle on top of a hill. My friends decided to call it a night but I wasn't done yet. I took some MDMA and started to dance like even more of a crazy person and continued until sunrise. Apparently I looked like a retard.

(This is an actual photo of where I was dancing)

I hung out with D&D the day after I got back to the city and we cuddled and drank wine.

I'm really looking forward to the super relaxed, no strings attached thing. I feel like it will be an excellent summer romance.