The following is an excerpt from a text conversation I had earlier with a guy I was seeing for a few weeks. The back story: he's great on paper -- smart, funny, has a great job, owns a car. In practice however, he's rather timid, somewhat shy, and incredibly awkward, which I found endearing... until I didn't. He has a big dick, he lasts a long time, and he knows how to use it and his fingers, but not once in the handful of times we had sex did he so much as attempt to take his mouth anywhere below my chest. He also nearly cried when there was a little blood on the condom once. Definitely wasn't going to work.
Last night he started asking me for dating/girl advice, as when I broke it off with him I told him "I think that you're perfect for someone, it's just not me," and as all nice guys do, he wanted to stay friends. He's tried a bit of online dating that's led to nothing, and he doesn't really know how to approach women IRL, but he says that with his new great job, he's finding himself wanting to settle down more and more, (keep in mind, still lives with his parents. Settle in the basement? I don't know.) He's also decided that he wants to date older women. Right.
I gave him some tips, and then went to meet my friend for a few drinks. He texted me more while out, and eventually I felt that this was the appropriate response:
Me: Alright, I'm going to give you the best advice you'll ever get: IF you are going to try dating older women you're going to need to get over your fear of blood, and you're going to need to start going down on them - and I mean that honestly for your own advancement, and in no way as an insult.
Me: Not necessarily at the same time.
Him: I had 2 gut-wrenching experiences in that department, so I'm not sure
Me: In which department?
Him: Going down...
Me: So? You think your spunk tastes like jolly ranchers or something?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Well, it doesn't.
Him: Okay
Me: It separates the men from the boys. And women want men. Otherwise you may as well stick to dating teenagers.
Showing posts with label Female Ejaculation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Female Ejaculation. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Reason I Am Still Going To Go For Older Men
Originally this post was called In Praise of Younger Men.
But then I actually had something like intercourse with one and I realized my mistake.
It all started when one young man emailed me on OkCupid. He was 21 and I am 24 and although the difference is years is not large, the difference in technique is very much apparent.
I am sure that there happen to be young men who are very good at sex, but this guy was not one of them.
We first met over drinks and when I saw him I was very disappointed by his choice in clothing but I knew he had come right from work so I held my tongue.
He was very confidant, which is a turn on, but he didn't really strike me as someone I would really make an effort to see again.
After Christmas I was bored so I agreed to meet him again and we spent the afternoon hanging out near my apartment. Again he dressed like shit and I chewed him out for it.
I admit I am superficial and care about clothing choices more than most people, but I generally don't give people shit for what they wear. He showed up FOR A DATE wearing dirty black jeans and an oversized hoodie.
And yet, I still had him back to my place?
He actually invited himself over, and I think I dug that... I have no idea. I was also horny as fuck.
I actually had myself convinced that he would come over and we wouldn't do anything but hang out. But then we were making out and in my head I was telling myself that I would ONLY take my top off. But then I had my bra off. And then my pants. And then I was naked...
This first encounter included no penis-in-vagina intercourse, it was all making out and hands and mouths.
He was amazing with his hands! And then he was even more amazing with his mouth! And when it got so intense I tried to squirm away and he growled and grabbed me and dragged me back towards him.
And then he used his hands again and he made me cum so hard I had my first experience with female ejaculation!
This is why this post was almost called In Praise of Younger Men. But then he came over again the other night and we had sex...
Now, I can understand that sex is one of those things you can improve on, and I would certainly love to help him do that if I was actually interested in persuing anything with him. But I was clear that this was a sex thing, and so it makes no sense for me to continue with it if the sex is shit.
Foreplay was great, as with before. I wanted him on top and he pre-warned me that he wouldn't last as long on top. I figured that it would be okay and he was probably just nervous.
NO.
He layed down on me so our entire torsos were touching. He couldn't figure out if he was in or not. He talked SO MUCH to the point where I had to tell him to shut the fuck up. He did not pump, he wiggled. He had no leverage. He came in 3-4 minutes.
I was gracious and laughed it off and then made sure he did a good job on me before leaving.
He did an excellent job with his hands but it didn't make up for the terrible sex.
He's been texting me constantly and I've been giving minimal responses. I've lost interest and feel no draw.
My co-worker said I'm like a dude. I get bored once they put out.
But then I actually had something like intercourse with one and I realized my mistake.
It all started when one young man emailed me on OkCupid. He was 21 and I am 24 and although the difference is years is not large, the difference in technique is very much apparent.
I am sure that there happen to be young men who are very good at sex, but this guy was not one of them.
We first met over drinks and when I saw him I was very disappointed by his choice in clothing but I knew he had come right from work so I held my tongue.
He was very confidant, which is a turn on, but he didn't really strike me as someone I would really make an effort to see again.
After Christmas I was bored so I agreed to meet him again and we spent the afternoon hanging out near my apartment. Again he dressed like shit and I chewed him out for it.
I admit I am superficial and care about clothing choices more than most people, but I generally don't give people shit for what they wear. He showed up FOR A DATE wearing dirty black jeans and an oversized hoodie.
And yet, I still had him back to my place?
He actually invited himself over, and I think I dug that... I have no idea. I was also horny as fuck.
I actually had myself convinced that he would come over and we wouldn't do anything but hang out. But then we were making out and in my head I was telling myself that I would ONLY take my top off. But then I had my bra off. And then my pants. And then I was naked...
This first encounter included no penis-in-vagina intercourse, it was all making out and hands and mouths.
He was amazing with his hands! And then he was even more amazing with his mouth! And when it got so intense I tried to squirm away and he growled and grabbed me and dragged me back towards him.
And then he used his hands again and he made me cum so hard I had my first experience with female ejaculation!
This is why this post was almost called In Praise of Younger Men. But then he came over again the other night and we had sex...
Now, I can understand that sex is one of those things you can improve on, and I would certainly love to help him do that if I was actually interested in persuing anything with him. But I was clear that this was a sex thing, and so it makes no sense for me to continue with it if the sex is shit.
Foreplay was great, as with before. I wanted him on top and he pre-warned me that he wouldn't last as long on top. I figured that it would be okay and he was probably just nervous.
NO.
He layed down on me so our entire torsos were touching. He couldn't figure out if he was in or not. He talked SO MUCH to the point where I had to tell him to shut the fuck up. He did not pump, he wiggled. He had no leverage. He came in 3-4 minutes.
I was gracious and laughed it off and then made sure he did a good job on me before leaving.
He did an excellent job with his hands but it didn't make up for the terrible sex.
He's been texting me constantly and I've been giving minimal responses. I've lost interest and feel no draw.
My co-worker said I'm like a dude. I get bored once they put out.
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