The Reason I Am Still Going To Go For Older Men

Originally this post was called In Praise of Younger Men.

But then I actually had something like intercourse with one and I realized my mistake.

It all started when one young man emailed me on OkCupid. He was 21 and I am 24 and although the difference is years is not large, the difference in technique is very much apparent.

I am sure that there happen to be young men who are very good at sex, but this guy was not one of them.

We first met over drinks and when I saw him I was very disappointed by his choice in clothing but I knew he had come right from work so I held my tongue.
He was very confidant, which is a turn on, but he didn't really strike me as someone I would really make an effort to see again.

After Christmas I was bored so I agreed to meet him again and we spent the afternoon hanging out near my apartment. Again he dressed like shit and I chewed him out for it.

I admit I am superficial and care about clothing choices more than most people, but I generally don't give people shit for what they wear. He showed up FOR A DATE wearing dirty black jeans and an oversized hoodie.

And yet, I still had him back to my place?

He actually invited himself over, and I think I dug that... I have no idea. I was also horny as fuck.

I actually had myself convinced that he would come over and we wouldn't do anything but hang out. But then we were making out and in my head I was telling myself that I would ONLY take my top off. But then I had my bra off. And then my pants. And then I was naked...

This first encounter included no penis-in-vagina intercourse, it was all making out and hands and mouths.

He was amazing with his hands! And then he was even more amazing with his mouth! And when it got so intense I tried to squirm away and he growled and grabbed me and dragged me back towards him.

And then he used his hands again and he made me cum so hard I had my first experience with female ejaculation!

This is why this post was almost called In Praise of Younger Men. But then he came over again the other night and we had sex...

Now, I can understand that sex is one of those things you can improve on, and I would certainly love to help him do that if I was actually interested in persuing anything with him. But I was clear that this was a sex thing, and so it makes no sense for me to continue with it if the sex is shit.

Foreplay was great, as with before. I wanted him on top and he pre-warned me that he wouldn't last as long on top. I figured that it would be okay and he was probably just nervous.

NO.

He layed down on me so our entire torsos were touching. He couldn't figure out if he was in or not. He talked SO MUCH to the point where I had to tell him to shut the fuck up. He did not pump, he wiggled. He had no leverage. He came in 3-4 minutes.

I was gracious and laughed it off and then made sure he did a good job on me before leaving.

He did an excellent job with his hands but it didn't make up for the terrible sex.

He's been texting me constantly and I've been giving minimal responses. I've lost interest and feel no draw.

My co-worker said I'm like a dude. I get bored once they put out.

Old Fogey: Part 2

Last week I had my second encounter with Old Guy. It was amazing.

This time I just went straight to his place after work. Why waste time with small talk and drinks?

We got down to business right away. When we stopped for breaks he would sing and at one point he even danced.

This is his favorite song right now, he sang it very loudly and it was hilarious to see him dance naked like the guy in the blue jacket:



After going at it for a while we were laying in his bed chatting and he told me about how he had pierced a woman's nipple with three syringes a couple of weeks ago. Ick.

He tells me stupid shit like this to try and shock or impress me or something. He also told me about his MDMA trip the previous Friday and his coke binge a couple of nights earlier. He definitely does not act like a 43 year old. He acts like a complete idiot.

We did discuss keeping this arrangement going for a while. Which I am pleased about. The sex is seriously amazing. Gentle at times, and rough at others. And LOTs of making out.

After a while we got up and walked around his apartment before getting dressed. He went to the kitchen and I was in his living room checking my phone. All of a sudden I hear this WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH! noise and I look up to see him going full force on his elliptical machine. Sandwich in one hand, the other arm flailing to keep balance, and his junk swinging like crazy. I nearly died I was laughing so hard. It was magic.

Shortly after that I stepped into the bathroom to tidy myself up and upon pulling my hair back I noticed THIS beast on my neck:



It is super sore, and tender, and horrifying. No makeup will cover it. It looks grey and splotchy and ridiculous.

I had left marks on his neck too, but none were as bad as this.

At the end of our romp, he walked with me back to my neighborhood and after parting ways I went and got myself a monster of a burrito to regain my energy.

This Town is Small

[Muffy] 11:25pm
funnny story
so i am on okcupid, as per usual
and this guy starts IMing me and he is older, 37, and he works in film, and his name is M******
and we are chatting whatever
and i realize it all seems very familiar
[Samsamsam] 11:25pm
......
GRAVEYARD?
[Muffy] 11:25pm
and i look at his picture again and said "you fucked me in a graveyard once."
and then i gave him my number...
[Samsamsam] 11:26pm
oh my god
[Muffy] 11:26pm
i know
he said he was hurt that i ignored his calls
and i said i was hurt by the number of bug bites on my ass the next day