I always knew I had zero self control.
I never have to re-cork a bottle of wine because I will polish it off.
I never have any chocolate on hand because I scarf it as soon as it enters the house.
I never get anything done on my days off because I spend the whole time with my hands between my legs.
And the list goes on.
This weekend was an excellent example of my terrible control. I knew I was going to get laid on Saturday night by a guy I kind of liked and yet I went out and fucked a different guy on Friday night. And then I had another guy over on Monday night. And I tried to get laid again on Wednesday night.
Monday night:
After my marathon weekend of sex I had Guy#2 come over Monday evening after work.
Why? Because I could. And because I knew he would show up and get me off.
This makes me look gluttonous, which I am. I won't deny this fact. But i am also callous.
I hurt Guy#2's feelings and I knew I would. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Here is what went down:
I was sitting on my front stairs having a cigarette when he walked up. He sat down next to me and we chatted for a bit.
I had my cell phone next to me but I thought I had put my pack of cigarettes on top of it so the screen was covered. I had been texting Hot Air Balloon and I didn't really need Guy#2 to know. All of a sudden Guy#2 asks me if I am seeing anyone else, and I was honest and replied that I had been kind of seeing someone and things had escalated quickly but that he had moved away.
I later realized that he had asked me this because I he had seen that I got a text from Hot Air Balloon. Way to go, Muffy.
While catching up with Guy#2 I found out that his nephew died this weekend and that he had been kicked out of his brother's house, where he had been living. So he was obviously not well from the get go, and I did nothing to improve his state.
We went up to my room and fucked and it was alright. Not as good as before.
Afterwards we were lying in bed and he told me that he had never had a just sex thing before. He only had sex with girls he had dated and he seemed to feel a little weird about it. He made a joke about it being sinful.
I told him that this was all I did, that I have not had a boyfriend before.
And then he told me why that is. He broke it down exactly. He told me I have a severe fear of commitment. True. That I have seen so many relationships close to me fall apart. True. That I have trust issues. True. And that I have built walls around myself to protect myself from getting hurt and that some guy is going to fall in love with me and have to break these down. True.
I told him that I feel sorry for that poor bastard, whoever he may be.
And then we had an awkward moment of eye contact and he looked sad.
He asked me about Hot Air Balloon and how serious we were. I said not very as it had only been a week and a half. He asked if I had wanted to get serious with him and I said that yeah, I think it would have happened if he hadn't left.
Then there was silence. I wanted to tell him that if this was hurting him then we should stop. I wanted to be upfront and tell him to stop texting me because it is not good for him.
But I didn't say anything.
Then he went on about how his wisdom teeth hurt and he was going to go for a walk to get painkillers and a coffee. I asked if he wanted me to come and he said no but asked if I wanted anything.
As soon as we walked out of my room neither of us said anything to the other.
He walked out my front door and we didn't kiss, hug, or say goodbye. Nothing.
After he left I was kind of confused about it he was coming back or not. He didn't. I don't blame him.
Wednesday Night:
After I left work yesterday I noticed none other than Old Guy sitting on the pub patio across the street. I stopped dead in my tracks. I creamed my pants. I started to quiver. I almost lost my shit.
He looked FINE. Perfect. Pure sex. It was insane. His hair was amazingly coiffed. His jeans cuffed just so. And his tattoos just peeking out from the collar and cuffs of his shirt.
I needed to take action. Do something. BUT WHAT.
I crossed the street a little further down. Took off my sweater, fluffed my hair, tightened the belt cinching my waist, and I pulled all my swagger from within. And I STRUT my shit for all I was worth. I STRUT right past him and his buddies. I held my head high, stuck out my tits and ass, swayed my hips, and shook out my hair.
I probably looked ridiculous, but I didn't give a shit. I looked cute and I knew it. I had been getting compliments all day on my hair and outfit, and I know I looked hot. And I know he saw me. And I know my ass caught his attention.
Then I walked the rest of the way home, vibrating from being so close to him.
When I got home I frantically tried to find someone to go for a beer with me at the same pub. No one was available. I didn't know what to do to establish contact with him again.
So I picked up my phone. I couldn't remember if I still had his number or not.
I DID!
I WOULD TEXT HIM!
What to say?! Something smart, cute, funny, sexy....
What did I send?
"Hey it's *******, I just saw you at the Toad and had to come home to change my panties. Are you up to anything later?"
Not quite the work of art I had planned.... but it was sent.
I didn't hear back until this morning. "I looked like pooo"
I didn't respond. I think he wanted me to fan his ego, but I refused. I figure, I am just going to own the text I sent him. If it comes up I will not be ashamed of the fact that he turns me on.
What I am kind of hoping will happen is that now he knows I am still interested in his cock so maybe he will suggest a meet up. I am not going to suggest anything. Imma leave the ball in his court and if he is interested then great. Otherwise, whatever.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Little Italy, Big Stallion
At some point this summer Muffy got be back on the internet dating band wagon and she insisted that it was something I pursue once I go back to school. However, I only really get into it when I am drunk or lonely or a combination of the two. Saturday night I was sitting on my couch thankful that 13 Going on 30 was on so that I had something decent to occupy my time with, but I log on anyways. I don't want to sound vain or anything, but I get my fair share of messages, but so many are "whats up? hows your weekend going cutie?" (and really if their spelling was that good I might actually reply to them). So I ignore a huge majority of them. There is also a feature on the website where you can chat, but I pretty much ignore anyone who just starts chatting with me without sending me a message first.
However, I hear the little *bing* of an incoming chat message; I look at the profile before accepting, he seems decent, so we start talking. We don't talk about anything spectacular, but after a while of chatting on and off I agree to meet him for sushi (because thats the best activity to show how big your mouth is) on sunday night.
All day sunday I can't concentrate because I am thinking that I might just get laid! Woo! Or alternatively I am meeting up with a killer who will most likely be coming to my house afterwards to stab me with a cleaver.
I clean up my apartment, shave my legs and all that good stuff. I actually try on different outfit options. What is with me, I always know what to wear!
We are supposed to meet at 7, but he texts me at 6 or so saying that he was running late and to make it 8, no biggie. At 7:45 I walk over to the liquor store to get some wine (its closed) and I get another text saying he was going to be there at 8:15. UGH. Fine, I am still trying to be cool with this. I pretty much have to sit around outside by myself for a while so I am not sitting alone in a restaurant. Finally I go, I end up waiting for him for another 40 minutes. I spend all this time texting my girls bashing someone I haven't even met yet.
I contemplate leaving, but I had ordered an iced tea and all I had was a $20 so I didn't want to deal with actually talking to the waitress and getting change.
Finally he shows up, he is cuter than his picture, which is pretty much unheard of. He apologizes for being late, but doesn't really give much of a legitimate reason. We order, and we talk, he is good at asking questions and being interested in my life instead of just talking about himself. He had just finished his Masters in Engineering the week before but he had gone to my university for his undergrad.
He is a little bit older than I am, 28 to my 23, but he has a really nice smile and perfect teeth, so that makes everything okay.
We decide to walk through his old campus to see if anything has changed. Its dark out, but warm and its not super romantic because I can't tell if he is that into me.
Finally I feel comfortable inviting him over. We sit on my terrible couch which does not lend well to eye contact. But we talk. And we talk. We have a music battle. We talk about everything. My mother calls, but I ignore it. We have no wine to hinder our judgement, so we just keep talking. I offer him a brownie that I had made, and then finally, at 3am he puts the moves on.
I had always thought that when romance novels talked about "pillowy lips" that it was one of the most ridiculous things ever. Now I get it.
In the summer the girls and I talked about who was our best kiss, and now I have changed my mind.
This man is a real bonified Italian Stallion.
My apartment was so hot, I had even turned the air conditioning on, but it wasn't helping enough. He was on top of me radiating heat and if I closed my eyes it was almost like making out with an Italian on a beach in Italy.
He took off my shirt, I took off his.
Then he goes for the pants. But I stop him. For some reason that is somewhat unbeknownst to me I tell him that I really want to do it but I think we should wait. Honestly, it was kind of empowering. We go on making out like we are in an CK jeans ad with nothing but denim on. Eventually it gets hot and heavy enough that he can satisfy himself with all of the dry humping that we're doing.
We slow down and we talk, and compliment each other, make plans to see each other again. He keeps on kissing me all over. It's almost too romantic for someone I just met. But also kind of fantastic. Yeah, I am super sappy okay, but it was really NICE, and nice things don't happen all that often...
I'll let you know what happens friday!
NOTE: Okay, so everything I said seems pretty hunky-dory, but I forgot to mention that because it was so hot, some of his chest hair stuck to my boobs and made me look like I had really hairy nipples. This was probably one of the least attractive things that has ever happened to me while not even having sex.
However, I hear the little *bing* of an incoming chat message; I look at the profile before accepting, he seems decent, so we start talking. We don't talk about anything spectacular, but after a while of chatting on and off I agree to meet him for sushi (because thats the best activity to show how big your mouth is) on sunday night.
All day sunday I can't concentrate because I am thinking that I might just get laid! Woo! Or alternatively I am meeting up with a killer who will most likely be coming to my house afterwards to stab me with a cleaver.
I clean up my apartment, shave my legs and all that good stuff. I actually try on different outfit options. What is with me, I always know what to wear!
We are supposed to meet at 7, but he texts me at 6 or so saying that he was running late and to make it 8, no biggie. At 7:45 I walk over to the liquor store to get some wine (its closed) and I get another text saying he was going to be there at 8:15. UGH. Fine, I am still trying to be cool with this. I pretty much have to sit around outside by myself for a while so I am not sitting alone in a restaurant. Finally I go, I end up waiting for him for another 40 minutes. I spend all this time texting my girls bashing someone I haven't even met yet.
I contemplate leaving, but I had ordered an iced tea and all I had was a $20 so I didn't want to deal with actually talking to the waitress and getting change.
Finally he shows up, he is cuter than his picture, which is pretty much unheard of. He apologizes for being late, but doesn't really give much of a legitimate reason. We order, and we talk, he is good at asking questions and being interested in my life instead of just talking about himself. He had just finished his Masters in Engineering the week before but he had gone to my university for his undergrad.
He is a little bit older than I am, 28 to my 23, but he has a really nice smile and perfect teeth, so that makes everything okay.
We decide to walk through his old campus to see if anything has changed. Its dark out, but warm and its not super romantic because I can't tell if he is that into me.
Finally I feel comfortable inviting him over. We sit on my terrible couch which does not lend well to eye contact. But we talk. And we talk. We have a music battle. We talk about everything. My mother calls, but I ignore it. We have no wine to hinder our judgement, so we just keep talking. I offer him a brownie that I had made, and then finally, at 3am he puts the moves on.
I had always thought that when romance novels talked about "pillowy lips" that it was one of the most ridiculous things ever. Now I get it.
In the summer the girls and I talked about who was our best kiss, and now I have changed my mind.
This man is a real bonified Italian Stallion.
My apartment was so hot, I had even turned the air conditioning on, but it wasn't helping enough. He was on top of me radiating heat and if I closed my eyes it was almost like making out with an Italian on a beach in Italy.
He took off my shirt, I took off his.
Then he goes for the pants. But I stop him. For some reason that is somewhat unbeknownst to me I tell him that I really want to do it but I think we should wait. Honestly, it was kind of empowering. We go on making out like we are in an CK jeans ad with nothing but denim on. Eventually it gets hot and heavy enough that he can satisfy himself with all of the dry humping that we're doing.
We slow down and we talk, and compliment each other, make plans to see each other again. He keeps on kissing me all over. It's almost too romantic for someone I just met. But also kind of fantastic. Yeah, I am super sappy okay, but it was really NICE, and nice things don't happen all that often...
I'll let you know what happens friday!
NOTE: Okay, so everything I said seems pretty hunky-dory, but I forgot to mention that because it was so hot, some of his chest hair stuck to my boobs and made me look like I had really hairy nipples. This was probably one of the least attractive things that has ever happened to me while not even having sex.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Muffy's tired!
I have had a very busy weekend. I am sore, exhausted, and content.
Friday night I was ready to have a calm evening at the pub listening to a local band and relaxing with friends. Cut to two hours later when I find myself on the roof of a massive, heritage apartment building, champagne bottle in hand and friends at my side, sitting on the ledge of the roof with my feet dangling over as I watch the bustle of the late night bar crowd.
It was obviously the start to a fun evening.
We did make it to the pub, but I was much more drunk than I had planned.
I hadn't really paid much attention to the men at the show. I was enjoying being in my own little world, dancing by myself. Then a friend of a friend struck up conversation with me. He was cute. Dark hair, good shoes, and an accent I couldn't peg. Turns out he was from Turkey. He was interesting and funny. We were interrupted by two other friends who wanted to introduce me to a man who wanted to be an electrician, something we share in common.
This guy was really cute. He had wild, curly, floppy hair, a goofy smile, and a prince t-shirt on. He and I chatted for a little while until the band's second set started.
During the set the Turkish guy kept trying to have a conversation with me but I was too busy dancing and checking out the Floppy Haired guy, who was returning my interested looks.
By the time the band was finished playing my friends had all left and I was standing between the Turkish guy and the Floppy Haired guy waiting to see what would happen next. The Turkish guy left to use the washroom and right away the Floppy guy and I turned to each other.
He asked me what I was doing next and I told him I had no plans. He asked if I wanted to go to his place and watch Dallas and listen to Prince. This was obviously an offer I could NOT turn down.
We passed the Turkish guy on the way out and I gave him a smile and a shrug. Maybe next time.
We never did watch Dallas, of course.
We went to his bedroom and went at it until his neighbor was banging on the wall. We relocated to the living room. He put on Prince and sang it to my vagina as he was eating me out.
We realized that the couch really did allow us the room we needed so we decided to go back to the bedroom, where I was officially crowned Queen Hoover, Master of Blowjobs.
He announced that I was going to call in sick to work the next day so we could spend the whole day fucking. Then we finally fell asleep at 6am.
We didn't sleep long. I had to get up to call into work and then we both downed some alka seltzer and got back to business.
Eventually I left in the early afternoon. He seemed disappointed that I wasn't going to spend the entire day in bed with him, but I had to get home to shower and get ready to see Hot Air Balloon guy that evening. He sent me on my way with breakfast to-go: a juice box of orange juice.
Hot Air Balloon picked me up at seven for dinner. After dinner we went for a short walk and then he decided he wanted to take me to his place, which is on the other side of the city. I actually had the next day off work, so I was up for anything.
When we got to his place we watched a few episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and laughed our asses off. I eventually got bored watching TV so I hopped on his lap and made things a little most interesting.
In no time I had my dress off and was leading him to his bedroom.
The last time we fucked it was sort of clumsy and he was nervous. This time he knew exactly what he was doing, and he did it very well. Extremely well. It was amazing. He knew when to be gentle and when to be a little rough. Holy crap. I feel bad for having so much doubt about him.
I spent the night, although we didn't really sleep.
Then this morning he dropped me off at home and left town for work. Will I see him again? I hope so.
As awesome as the weekend was, I am a wreck now. I am speckled in little bruises, every muscle aches, and my lips are swollen and tender. I literally cannot walk, do stairs, sit down, stand up, or bend over.
But it was totally fucking worth it.
Friday night I was ready to have a calm evening at the pub listening to a local band and relaxing with friends. Cut to two hours later when I find myself on the roof of a massive, heritage apartment building, champagne bottle in hand and friends at my side, sitting on the ledge of the roof with my feet dangling over as I watch the bustle of the late night bar crowd.
It was obviously the start to a fun evening.
We did make it to the pub, but I was much more drunk than I had planned.
I hadn't really paid much attention to the men at the show. I was enjoying being in my own little world, dancing by myself. Then a friend of a friend struck up conversation with me. He was cute. Dark hair, good shoes, and an accent I couldn't peg. Turns out he was from Turkey. He was interesting and funny. We were interrupted by two other friends who wanted to introduce me to a man who wanted to be an electrician, something we share in common.
This guy was really cute. He had wild, curly, floppy hair, a goofy smile, and a prince t-shirt on. He and I chatted for a little while until the band's second set started.
During the set the Turkish guy kept trying to have a conversation with me but I was too busy dancing and checking out the Floppy Haired guy, who was returning my interested looks.
By the time the band was finished playing my friends had all left and I was standing between the Turkish guy and the Floppy Haired guy waiting to see what would happen next. The Turkish guy left to use the washroom and right away the Floppy guy and I turned to each other.
He asked me what I was doing next and I told him I had no plans. He asked if I wanted to go to his place and watch Dallas and listen to Prince. This was obviously an offer I could NOT turn down.
We passed the Turkish guy on the way out and I gave him a smile and a shrug. Maybe next time.
We never did watch Dallas, of course.
We went to his bedroom and went at it until his neighbor was banging on the wall. We relocated to the living room. He put on Prince and sang it to my vagina as he was eating me out.
We realized that the couch really did allow us the room we needed so we decided to go back to the bedroom, where I was officially crowned Queen Hoover, Master of Blowjobs.
He announced that I was going to call in sick to work the next day so we could spend the whole day fucking. Then we finally fell asleep at 6am.
We didn't sleep long. I had to get up to call into work and then we both downed some alka seltzer and got back to business.
Eventually I left in the early afternoon. He seemed disappointed that I wasn't going to spend the entire day in bed with him, but I had to get home to shower and get ready to see Hot Air Balloon guy that evening. He sent me on my way with breakfast to-go: a juice box of orange juice.
Hot Air Balloon picked me up at seven for dinner. After dinner we went for a short walk and then he decided he wanted to take me to his place, which is on the other side of the city. I actually had the next day off work, so I was up for anything.
When we got to his place we watched a few episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and laughed our asses off. I eventually got bored watching TV so I hopped on his lap and made things a little most interesting.
In no time I had my dress off and was leading him to his bedroom.
The last time we fucked it was sort of clumsy and he was nervous. This time he knew exactly what he was doing, and he did it very well. Extremely well. It was amazing. He knew when to be gentle and when to be a little rough. Holy crap. I feel bad for having so much doubt about him.
I spent the night, although we didn't really sleep.
Then this morning he dropped me off at home and left town for work. Will I see him again? I hope so.
As awesome as the weekend was, I am a wreck now. I am speckled in little bruises, every muscle aches, and my lips are swollen and tender. I literally cannot walk, do stairs, sit down, stand up, or bend over.
But it was totally fucking worth it.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Getting to Know Muffy aka TMI: What turns me on
- Tough looking facial scars
- Neck tattoos peeking out from beneath a collared shirt
- Hand tattoos
- Old men
- Married men
- Men in leather footwear
- Cuffed jeans
- Tousled hair
- Highly styled moustaches
- Beards
- Big hands
- Old Spice
- Whiskey on the rocks
- Being bitten
- Being pinned against a wall by his leg
- Muscular thighs and ass
- Sweat
- Smoking
- Douchbags
- Hard to get
- The chase
- Men with children
- Broad shoulders
- Salt & pepper hair
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Well...I did it.
As if there was any doubt that I would. I just cannot resist taking my clothes off for a man who is willing to fondle my vagina.
Today I had Hot Air Balloon Guy over for a movie and some wine.
Originally my plan for the evening was to wash my cum-stained bedding and while that was happening I was going to sit on my naked mattress, while probably naked myself, eating cheesecake and reading blogs. I lead an especially glamourous life.
But no. Some dude (Hot Air Balloon Guy, stay with me!) wanted to see me because he just found out that he is moving out of town to fly balloons elsewhere and he thinks I am super awesome.
Fine.
So I come home from work. I toss my tight black jeans, my musty pillow cases, and a cute top in the wash. I hop in the shower to wash the negligence out of my hair make sure my bits were in order. I swept and mopped the damn apartment. And then I pulled myself together and let him know he could come over.
We watched Whatever Works, which was fine, and cracked open my free bottle of wine (which I am kind of wishing I had saved for a night by myself). After the movie we made a little small talk until someone (can't remember who) grabbed the other and went in for a smooch.
Smooching turned to groping, turned to dry humping, turned to us retreating to my bedroom to get the pesky clothes out of the way.
Now. This is funny because I was talking to the gals before he came over and I told them I would probs not fuck this dude. But the THING is. When I am presented with a penis, I just get far too excited about seeing what it can do that I totally forget that I didn't want to go there.
I GO COCK CRAZY!
And my mind gets all jumbled and buggered up.
This guy was nervous. And as much as I love being dominated, I am also learning that I kind of love making guys nervous. It brings out this beast in me. I am practicing becoming more dominant myself so that I can expand my sexual horizions.
Today I was a little drowsy from the wine, so beyond gently telling him what I wanted ("bite there...harder") I remained calm and didn't get too excited.
One of my fears was that his dick would be too small. And it seemed small, but I am pretty sure that it was just because there was so much flesh. He is certaintly the biggest man I have ever fucked, and it was a hinderance, to be quite frank.
But he was a quick learner, and he developed a basic understanding of what I wanted.
I actually got the feeling that he may have never had sex before...but how can you ask someone that question?!
As sweet as the whole thing was, towards the end of it I had already resolved that I had no romantic feelings towards this man. I was getting less interested and he was quickly becoming more interested. This has happened to me before. It is so awkward because I am the type who will apparently take advantage of these men for sex and completely disregard their feelings. Take Guy #2 for example.
I will probably see Hot Air Balloon Guy one more time before he moves away. I am going to use the move as my out.
Today I had Hot Air Balloon Guy over for a movie and some wine.
Originally my plan for the evening was to wash my cum-stained bedding and while that was happening I was going to sit on my naked mattress, while probably naked myself, eating cheesecake and reading blogs. I lead an especially glamourous life.
But no. Some dude (Hot Air Balloon Guy, stay with me!) wanted to see me because he just found out that he is moving out of town to fly balloons elsewhere and he thinks I am super awesome.
Fine.
So I come home from work. I toss my tight black jeans, my musty pillow cases, and a cute top in the wash. I hop in the shower to wash the negligence out of my hair make sure my bits were in order. I swept and mopped the damn apartment. And then I pulled myself together and let him know he could come over.
We watched Whatever Works, which was fine, and cracked open my free bottle of wine (which I am kind of wishing I had saved for a night by myself). After the movie we made a little small talk until someone (can't remember who) grabbed the other and went in for a smooch.
Smooching turned to groping, turned to dry humping, turned to us retreating to my bedroom to get the pesky clothes out of the way.
Now. This is funny because I was talking to the gals before he came over and I told them I would probs not fuck this dude. But the THING is. When I am presented with a penis, I just get far too excited about seeing what it can do that I totally forget that I didn't want to go there.
I GO COCK CRAZY!
And my mind gets all jumbled and buggered up.
This guy was nervous. And as much as I love being dominated, I am also learning that I kind of love making guys nervous. It brings out this beast in me. I am practicing becoming more dominant myself so that I can expand my sexual horizions.
Today I was a little drowsy from the wine, so beyond gently telling him what I wanted ("bite there...harder") I remained calm and didn't get too excited.
One of my fears was that his dick would be too small. And it seemed small, but I am pretty sure that it was just because there was so much flesh. He is certaintly the biggest man I have ever fucked, and it was a hinderance, to be quite frank.
But he was a quick learner, and he developed a basic understanding of what I wanted.
I actually got the feeling that he may have never had sex before...but how can you ask someone that question?!
As sweet as the whole thing was, towards the end of it I had already resolved that I had no romantic feelings towards this man. I was getting less interested and he was quickly becoming more interested. This has happened to me before. It is so awkward because I am the type who will apparently take advantage of these men for sex and completely disregard their feelings. Take Guy #2 for example.
I will probably see Hot Air Balloon Guy one more time before he moves away. I am going to use the move as my out.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Cum Bucket List
It started off as a regular ol' bucket list.
I figured I needed goals to work towards but then every goal I added to the list ended up having to do with sex. I would be having a conversation with the gals about sex and something weird would come up and I would say "I should do that. It's a bucket list kinda thing."
It was actually Old Guy who first referred to it as a "Cum Bucket List", and I fell in love with it immediately.
The Cum bucket List continues to grow regularly, which is intimidating at times because my sex life has been slow this week. Then I remember that bucket lists are a life thing, not just a summer thing, and I am calm again. Most of the things on my Cum Bucket list are entirely achieveable, which is good. (I included things I have already accomplished, they are in bold.)
Muffy's Cum Bucket List
1. Have sex with a hot older man.
2. Have sex with a way younger man.
3. Draw blood during sex. (This one started as a joke with myself about vampires, and then I did it by accident.)
4. Be spanked HARD during sex.
5. Be tied up for sex.
6. Tie someone up for sex.
7. Have a one night stand.
8. Have sex on a roof.
9. Have sex in an alley.
10. Have sex in a bar washroom.
11. Have sex on some church steps.
12. Have anal sex.
13. Have sex in a hot air balloon.
14. Have sex in a graveyard. (I may have added this after the fact...)
15. Have a threesome.
16. Turn my vagina into the United Nations.
17. Give myself a multiple orgasm.
18. Learn female ejaculation.
19. Have sweet, romantic sex.
20. Have sex on a bear-skin rug.
21. Have sex in the woods with a lumberjack-type dude.
22. Use hot wax during sex.
23. Have sex with a married man.
24. Have sex with a delivery man. (Must not be pre-planned.)
25. Have super dirty sex with an authority figure.
26. Give someone a golden shower. (I am curious about this one. I would not like to get peed on, and I probably would not like to see this person again after peeing on them...)
This list feels short. I know I'm missing some things. I also think I am probably willing to try most things. WHY NOT?!
I figured I needed goals to work towards but then every goal I added to the list ended up having to do with sex. I would be having a conversation with the gals about sex and something weird would come up and I would say "I should do that. It's a bucket list kinda thing."
It was actually Old Guy who first referred to it as a "Cum Bucket List", and I fell in love with it immediately.
The Cum bucket List continues to grow regularly, which is intimidating at times because my sex life has been slow this week. Then I remember that bucket lists are a life thing, not just a summer thing, and I am calm again. Most of the things on my Cum Bucket list are entirely achieveable, which is good. (I included things I have already accomplished, they are in bold.)
Muffy's Cum Bucket List
1. Have sex with a hot older man.
2. Have sex with a way younger man.
3. Draw blood during sex. (This one started as a joke with myself about vampires, and then I did it by accident.)
4. Be spanked HARD during sex.
5. Be tied up for sex.
6. Tie someone up for sex.
7. Have a one night stand.
8. Have sex on a roof.
9. Have sex in an alley.
10. Have sex in a bar washroom.
11. Have sex on some church steps.
12. Have anal sex.
13. Have sex in a hot air balloon.
14. Have sex in a graveyard. (I may have added this after the fact...)
15. Have a threesome.
16. Turn my vagina into the United Nations.
17. Give myself a multiple orgasm.
18. Learn female ejaculation.
19. Have sweet, romantic sex.
20. Have sex on a bear-skin rug.
21. Have sex in the woods with a lumberjack-type dude.
22. Use hot wax during sex.
23. Have sex with a married man.
24. Have sex with a delivery man. (Must not be pre-planned.)
25. Have super dirty sex with an authority figure.
26. Give someone a golden shower. (I am curious about this one. I would not like to get peed on, and I probably would not like to see this person again after peeing on them...)
This list feels short. I know I'm missing some things. I also think I am probably willing to try most things. WHY NOT?!
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