Drunken Encounters: Part 1 of *HOPEFULLY* Many

Last night I met a strange man on a street corner and suggested he ravish me on a dark boulevard.

I say strange because although he and I have been texting quite regularly, we had never met in person. Let's call the man of this encounter "Mr. T" as his name starts with a T and he is a big guy who is kind of intimidating looking due to the fact that he is the singer of some probably crappy hardcore band.

This encounter came about after a series of drunken text messages that started with me saying

"I'm shit faced. I'm in a cute dress. I'm close by. What are you going to do about it?"

And ended with my dress up to my waist and his hands on my ass.

I would rate this encounter PG. If your children had watched they probably wouldn't have been too disturbed by what they saw.

Also, I didn't notice at the time, but some mild facebook stalking revealed that he has a winnfield moustache(according to the chart below).


My goal is to have sex with him by the end of the week.

Hot Dead Guys

As you may know, I have a thing for old guys and graveyards.  This post potentially has something to do with both of those things, which is why I am so excited about it.

Let's talk about hot dead guys!

Now, don't fret just yet.  I'm not talking about going all necrophiliac-y all over the place.  I am talking about guys in history who happened to be hot and now happen to be dead.  I am appreciating the hottness that existed when they did happen to be alive... Got it?  Good.  Moving on.

Sadakichi Hartmann

(November 8, 1867 - November 22, 1944)

Poet and a critic.

The dude went by the title King of the Bohemians.

Need I say more?  No.  Obviously.

Ernst Haeckel

(Hottie on the left)

(February 16, 1834 – August 9, 1919)

Biologist, naturalist, philosopher, physician, professor, and artist.

Not only was this stud a genius, he also had mad skills when it came to shit like painting.

Please admire the following image and note that he and I are practically the same person because I totally just painted some mushrooms to hang in my kitchen.

Talk about soul mates.

Rupert Brooke

 

(3 August 1887 – 23 April 1915)

English poet.

He was hot and then he died in Greece from an infected mosquito bite.

Lame.

But still hot.

Ivor Novello

 

(15 January 1893 – 6 March 1951)

Welsh composer, singer, and actor.

Can we just pause to imagine crying out the name "IVOR!!!" in bed.

It's all magic my friends.

I hope you enjoyed my short foray into the past.  For more reading on hot dead guys please refer to Bangable Dudes in History.  They are a much better read and will probably make you swoon with their pie charts...

I have always liked hairy men. But, like, good hair. I hate back hair. And ass hair isn't super amazing either. I mean, I like a man with a good full head of hair, some cozy chest hair, and a well manicured beard and/or mustache.





I dream of one day having a man with longer hair than my own and a delish handlebar mustache on speed dial. Seriously. I'm talking 70's porn 'stache. YUM.

OR

How about some nice, combed back, foppish hair. Like the nice singing man in this video:



He hit the nail right on the head!

Okay, okay. So in real life I am generally attracted to the ones no one else likes.

I don't even mind eye patches.

This makes me sound crazy.

Let's just say I like to keep my options open. I am open minded...