I wasn’t super keen on meeting Scarf. Maybe this was because I was distracted by other dudes, maybe it was because a friend told me he had “woman beater” eyes, or maybe it was because he said he’d met over 100 girls from the internet, some of them who have since been featured on thedirty.com – It is really hard to say what factor prevailed in giving me the No! feeling about him.
We shared a few emails, phone calls, and texts. Not a lot, just enough to keep in touch. The conversations were polite, mostly boring, and I felt a false enthusiasm from him. He was a mumbler, and it annoyed the shit out of me.
We made plans and I bailed out a few hours before. I knew that I would be away a lot in June, so I asked him if we could put a pin in things – if I could contact him when I was back in town. He said sure and didn’t complain. I appreciated that. Mostly because, in the meantime I was trying to make a date with RC.
Unimpressed with RC, and invigorated by my discovery that a dude I barely know can make my knees shake, I arrived back in Winnipeg with a fresh perspective and a willingness to meet Scarf.
We met one evening outside of a coffee shop nearby. He was tall (!), burly (!), and rocking some serious stubble (!). He was sexy-ugly through and through (!).
We walked first to a park near my place, played on the swings and chatted. Then we walked to another park and played on those swings too.
I have no doubt in my mind that he was once a force to be reckoned with. There was a practiced smoothness to his charm and a deliberate patience with the formalities of a first date. There were also signs of wear and tear, a break down of his playa-ness: He hurt his arm doing a chin up on the swing set, he accidentally bonked himself in the nuts with the teeter totter, and he was generally quite clumsy. It was his saving grace – I found it endearing, and an easy target to make fun of. We spent the evening mocking each other playfully.
I walked him to his car, and we shook hands. I said I had a nice time, he said we should do it again. Then we argued over who would call who.
It was a “good” first date – but I was still getting the NO! feeling about him.
I was away for the weekend, and he texted me on Tuesday so see if I wanted to meet at the coffee shop again on Wednesday. Normally I don’t like to seem that available, but I had a date already planned for Thursday night with Mr. Adventures, plans on Friday with friends, and would be away for the rest of the month.
The last time I’d been on a second date, Nicole Kidman masturbated at length on screen and Jack Black checked out his ball-sack in a mirror. It was minus 30 and we were both wearing parkas. I googled “second date”. I don’t recommend doing this.
We met at the coffee shop again, got drinks this time (he didn’t pay!) and then hopped in his car and went for a drive. The conversation was easy and enjoyable. At some point he decided that we were going to go on a tour of schools he’s attended.
At the first school, we played on the play-structure and warmed up to each other again.
At the second school, we played in the skate park area and then sat down for a while and talked. The bugs were bad so I sprayed us with repellent. He told me things like that he was a really shy person. I figured that was him trying to be ‘vulnerable’ in front of me, which is a classic playa-move. But I also worried that maybe he was being genuine. I was still getting the NO! feeling about him – not enough NO! to convince me I shouldn’t see how things played out, but also enough that I knew it could never be a real thang.
We climbed to the highest point of the skate park. It was dark, and the moon was mostly full. The air felt wonderful. I told him that anyone who has ever said they hated this town should spend a few minutes outside on a clear summer night. He spun me around twice and on the second spin he pulled me to him and kissed me.
We kissed a little more. He ran his fingers through my hair, kissed my neck, and moved to my ear. Then he choked and died on a combination of earring and bug repellent. I told him I was wearing boy repellent. On the way to the car he extended his hand for me to hold. I liked that very much.
At the third school play yard we climbed the structure and kissed more in the moonlight. He tried copping a boob feel, and I brushed his hand away. He laughed, and didn’t try again. I appreciated that.
He stood under the monkey bars with his arms extended up. I approached him, placed the back of my hand against his chest. He asked what I wanted. I said that I wanted some sugar. Women around the world rolled their eyes.
On the way to the car he discovered he was allowed to grab my ass and I got a sneak peak of the manhandling I’m in store for. Excellent.
We started to drive out of the parking lot and he stopped the car suddenly and turned to me. Jesus, what now!
He told me that he wanted to be up front with me about something. I feared the worst (He’s a father? He’s religious? He’s married? Gonoherposyph?). Then he told me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, and mentioned something about ex-gf drams. I breathed a sigh of relief and told him I didn’t want anything serious either, that it was summer and that summer was a time for fun, and that I was seeing other people.
We made a pact that we wouldn’t be douchy to each other. Perfect. I told him not to text me a lot.
He parked in front of my building. I touched his arm, kissed him briefly and grinned. I told him I’d call him when I was back in town.
He texted me a few days later, while I was on the road, to wish me well on my trip. It was a totally unnecessary, but nice check in.
I’m now back in town, and I feel SO HESITANT about contacting him! On one hand, I could really go for a non-douchy fling, but on the other hand, is it worth it? If I’m going to be seeing someone on the regular, I’d like to at least have the option of liking them fo-realsies – something that is impossible with him due to a combination of prevailing NO! feelings and his emotional unavailability. What is a girl to do!?
