I spent Valentine's Day evening googling sexting. It wasn't an especially rewarding activity. It left me feeling perhaps a little out of the loop. I had never really put much thought into sexting until they discussed it as a hot topic on the View. Apparently teens can be sentenced to time in prison for sexting. I didn't really do much research on this aspect of the whole thing but I think it's legal in Canada.
Now, hearing how much Elizabeth Hasselcrack disapproved of sexting made me realize something: I would be such a pro at it. The key to sexting is to memorize all these secret codes so the cops/your parents don't catch your ass. I am pretty good at memorizing codes, it was a skill I learned when I worked in a deli and every kind of sandwich meat had a code.
Here are some really important codes I need to get down in order to excel at sexting:
8 - Oral sex
143 - I love you
182 - I hate you
459 - I love you
1174 - Nude club
420 - Marijuana
ADR - Address
ASL - Age/Sex/Location
banana - male : genitalia
CD9 - Code 9 - it means parents are around
DUM - Do You Masturbate?
DUSL - Do You Scream Loud?
FB - (expletive) Buddy
FOL - Fond of Leather
GNOC - Get Naked On Cam
GYPO - Get Your Pants Off
GYR - Grease Your Rat (a Hillary original for male masturbation)
IAYM - I Am Your Master
IF/IB - In the Front -or- In the Back?
ILF/MD - I Love Female/Male Dominance
IMEZRU - I Am Easy, Are You?
IWSN - I Want Sex Now
J/O – Masturbate
KFY -or- K4Y - Kiss For You
kitty - Female : genitalia
KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life
MOOS - Member Of The Opposite Sex
MOSS - Member(s) Of The Same Sex
MorF - Male or Female
MOS - Mom Over Shoulder
NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That
NIFOC - Nude In Front Of The Computer
NMU - Not Much, You?
P911 - Parent Alert
PAL - Parents Are Listening
PAW - Parents Are Watching
PIR - Parent In Room
POS - Parent Over Shoulder -or- Piece Of (expletive)
PRON - Porn
RU/18 - Are You Over 18?
RUH - Are You Horny?
S2R - Send To Receive
SorG - Straight or Gay
TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me
WYCM - Will You Call Me?
I then decided to test and record the sexy words my phone's T9 is capable of.
My phone can T9 the following:
cock
anal
vagina
penetration
cum
sex
pussy
My phone Cannot manage these:
penis
boobs
tits
jizz
dick
I found it very frustrating that my phone does not include the male genetalia, but it is an obstacle I will eventually learn to overcome. Some creative choices available to me are:
banana
peter
johnson
willy
Please note that the available options are mainly men's names. I guess it was a silly experiment because the codes exsist for a reason. Plus, with my luck I would accidently text my boss or my mom the sexy things.
Okay, but, say I wanted the dude to tell his weiner I say "hi". There is no code for this, so I could say "Hey babe, tell your pal Peter I say yo!" Totally inconspicuous! That really isn't a very sexy sext. I am going to have to practice...
